I just finished my first year of college. Looking back a year or so ago, I remember a conversation with my college counselor where I equated the college selection process to a season of The Bachelor. I have never watched– nor do I ever intend to watch– The Bachelor. But from what I hear “through the grapevine”, it has a simple premise. A staggeringly handsome single man lives in a house and goes on dates with insanely beautiful women, giving roses to the girls who he wants to move on to the next round until there’s only one woman left: The Woman He Was Born To Be With… until they ultimately break up 5 months after the season airs. Rinse and repeat for approximately 20 billion seasons, and behold: The Bachelor.
And from the ashes of trashy television rises a phoenix of a blog post idea to pitch my former college counselor and all her college counselor friends (of which I assume there are many). The Bachelor: College Edition. This is the story of my college selection journey. There are some minor edits to the format that I need to highlight.
First, the most obvious, this is a season of The Bachelorette.
Also, the colleges in this story have their own agency. Even though I picked them specifically to join the show, some chose to leave the show of their own accord, which is really healthy!
And for the sake of thinly–veiled anonymity, the names of the schools will be replaced by guys’ names.
With that being said, let this season of The Bachelorette: College Edition begin!
This season, there are 13 contestants competing to win my heart, mind, and 529 Plan. I chose each of these contestants for different reasons, with the one common thread being that I could see a really nice life with them… for the next 4 years.
We have Drew, who really prioritizes career preparedness. He thinks he’s punching above his weight, but I picked him to join the show for a reason!
Richard, who goes by Ricky, is curious and outspoken about social causes that matter to him. He’s also a bit of a finance bro but has an interest in politics, one of my biggest interests.
Brady is Jewish and a quirky nerd, in an endearing way. Our personalities click very well.
James was invited because I know his name, but looking back, he was honestly pretty generic. Not in a bad way, just that he’s the kind of guy who likes long walks on the beach and watching The Office, end of story.
Eli is in a similar boat, except that my cousin knows him pretty well and vouched for him to get on the show.
Sam is extremely passionate about activism and the government.
Victor is smart, he likes sports, and has interesting and diverse political perspectives.
Will is also politically literate and likes to do what he can to help women be successful.
Adam has really strong connections to political internships, he’s a critical thinker, and is from one of my favorite cities.
Phillip is brilliant, my grandma knows him well, and he has a really good reputation with those who have heard of him.
Dustin is also very smart, he likes sports, and strives to cultivate really close connections.
Alex is a bit quiet, but he is a deep thinker who really wants me to be able to explore my passions.
Finally, we have George. He’s wanted to be a lawyer ever since he came out of the womb.
With the introductions out of the way, let this season of The Bachelorette: College Edition begin!
Round 1
The first to respond were Drew, Eli, and George. George took himself out of the running right away. Honestly? I’m okay with it. I remember having to write my supplemental essays at the last minute because I thought there weren’t any, just for me to click one page on his application form and see three prompts glaring at me. It was an incredibly stressful process to try and get him on the show, just for him to not show any interest back at me. On a brighter note, though, Drew and Eli were both really interested! Drew pampered me, inviting me to his Honors Program to study politics. Once both of them got back to me and I had time to search my feelings, I gave a rose to Drew and asked Eli to leave the show. Nothing against him, he’s a great guy and all, but I really felt like Drew was fighting hard to show how much he wanted to be with me. That felt nice.
Round 1 Rose Recipient: Drew
Round 1 Exits: Eli and George
Round 2
The next I heard back from was James. He was nice and one of my high school friends actually ended up going out with him and is enjoying their relationship a lot. But for me, the vibe just didn’t fit. I didn’t feel like he appreciated my worth, and he didn’t make me feel special. He wrote some handwritten postcards and sent them to me, but I didn’t really feel like he cared. Right after I heard from him, Ricky reached out to say he was interested. At first I was iffy about giving him a rose, but I started to look more into some of the programs he has, and he started to grow on me. Plus, the more merch he sent to me, the better sense I got of his personality. He’s witty, sarcastic, and a bit silly, and I like that he was willing to show more of himself and open up. After that, there was a large gap in responses, so I was able to really evaluate my choices and think through what I was looking for in my college. I sent James on his way and gave Ricky a rose with a warning that he was on thin ice and would really need to prove that he wanted to be with me.
Round 2 Rose Recipient: Ricky
Round 2 Exits: James
Round 3
Flash forward a couple of months to March. I knew that a bloodbath was approaching in what would be the highest-rated episode of the whole season. Adam was the first to show up. Up to this point, I had a HUGE crush on him. We had a ton of the same interests, similar personalities, and I really showed that I wanted to participate in a ton of the programs he had to offer. I genuinely thought we were soulmates, as did many other people who knew him. He led me on. He had me hook, line, and sinker. He told me that he needed to make a decision about whether or not he was interested in me. My blood went cold. Just in case that wasn’t enough, Phillip, Dustin, and Alex all took themselves out of the running, after I had shown interest in all of them through interviews, emails, and doing my research on what they want to see in a partner. I was really bummed. They were all brilliant and I was looking forward to spending my years with any of them, hoping that they would push me to be a better version of myself. I was also wait-listed by Sam and Will, but at that point, I wasn’t as invested in pursuing something serious with either one of them, so I did not give either one a rose.
Round 3 Rose Recipient: None
Round 3 Exits: Adam, Phillip, Dustin, Alex, Sam, and Will
Round 4
When the dust settled at the end of the month of March, I gave roses to Victor (who also needed more time to decide if we were a good fit), Brady, who was really interested in me too, and Ricky, who opened up more and became a frontrunner in my eyes. Sadly, I said goodbye to Drew. Because he was the first to show interest, I thought he was offering more than the average college. But the more schools I heard from, the more I realized I wouldn’t get the same opportunities from being with him as I would with other schools that gave me similar offers. He’s a really nice guy and I would recommend him to anybody, but he’s just not what I needed at this phase of my life.
And we have to talk about Adam. I was so heartbroken that he didn’t feel the same way. I thought we were on the same page, that we were going to be together, only to have that reality shattered. Just in case that wasn’t devastating enough, he even told me that if I wanted to be with him, I had to go out of my way to prove it. I was so insulted that he chose to ignore all of the effort that I had put in ahead of time to show I loved him. I thought I had made it abundantly clear that if he wanted me, I was all his. And now I had to do one more thing to prove myself? No. With the sheer number of hoops I jumped through for him, he was not worth my time anymore. I not only kicked him off the show, but I also talked crap about him to anyone who would listen. Especially after how he acted with tons of overqualified people this year, he has built a reputation of being insecure of rejection, to the point where college counselors are steering students away from asking him out now. He will live in mediocrity. He will date and marry mediocrity. And I am perfectly okay with that.
Round 4 Rose Recipients: Victor, Brady, and Ricky
Round 4 Exits: Drew and Adam
Final Round
The best thing that happened as a result of the Adam fiasco was that I was able to get rid of my tunnel vision, take my blinders off, and truly hone in on my remaining choices. We got to April, and I had an incredibly hard decision to make: Brady or Ricky. Up to this point, I had seen Brady as a bit ahead of Ricky. He’s Jewish, so my parents liked him a lot. We have similar personalities and I really clicked with some other people who picked him. And he’s smart. But Ricky came barreling from behind to completely take me by surprise. He’s curious, insightful, passionate about change-making, and wanted to push my intellectual boundaries. Plus, when I went to visit him, I saw how handsome he actually is. I had an incredible choice between two guys that were perfect for me. After mulling it over with my college counselor for hours, she was able to identify the one factor that led me to choose one over the other. One was perfect for helping me now, and one was perfect for helping my future. The final rose went to Ricky.
The Bachelorette College Edition Winner: Ricky
I am so happy with him. He has pushed my brain harder than I thought possible, introduced me to incredible friends and professors, and continually presents me with incredible opportunities that will help my career and life post-undergrad.
After going through this whole process, I have some takeaways. If anyone is reading this who is going through their own season of The Bachelor(ette): College Edition, your life trajectory will not be catastrophically altered by who you choose. Even though your relationship will look different depending on who you choose, they were on your list for a reason. You saw something good and desirable in a school and, critically, they saw something in you that they liked. In applying to schools, I only learned so much about what I was potentially getting myself into. A school knows themselves better than I will ever know them. So, if they rejected me, I didn’t take it to heart. I know that, usually, it came down to them not thinking we were a good fit.
The most important thing I’ve learned looking back, though, is that there are plenty of schools that I would be happy with for one key reason (that I’ll expand on in a bit). In fact, when I came home for the summer, I met a friend’s partner, Landon. He was really smart, nice, and we clicked super well (as friends, I’m a loyal woman to Ricky). There could have been a crazy alternate-reality outcome where I gave Landon, or Dustin, or any guy the final rose, and I’d be happy with any of them. The key reason I discovered this past year is that college will only be as amazing as the amount of effort you’re willing to put into it. The more involved and invested you get, the more people you meet, the more you participate in class, and so on, the better your beautiful four-year relationship will be.
Kate Chasin
Previous Client of Virtual College Counselors
Guest Writer
College Student (2022-2026)
